Had training today and all morning I was whining about it. I did NOT want to go. I was tired (am tired...it's a constant state of being these days!) and sore and just not in the mood. I worked myself up so much I was almost sick to my stomach when I went in. It's just really hard to get back into the swing of things when you've been out of the game for so long.
Before I got pregnant I was at the gym 6 days a week. Three days strength training, three days cardio training...it was MY place! I knew everyone there, I was comfortable there and I loved it! Then I got pregnant and I still was able to keep up that routine for quite a while. As the pregnancy progressed I had to limit myself and finally when Luke was born I couldn't do anything for awhile. Now that he is 4 months old I am trying to get back into some kind of routine but with two children and little sleep I just can't get back to it like I did before. I know I will someday, but right now I'm just trying to get through each day. And now I have a new trainer too, who is awesome by the way, but it's just another thing to get used to.
So all that is what's in my head when I walked in the door today. Our first exercise he had to modify (has to do with a plank and a ball, I'll leave it at that) and I was SO pissed at myself! Pissed that I couldn't do it, pissed that I feel like I'm starting over, pissed that I even HAVE to lose weight in the first place (like that I got to that point), pissed about everything! But you know what? I talked to him about it a bit and with a little pep talk from him, I started to remember everything I've done the last 2 years. The first day with Mandy I fell over...it doesn't get worse then that! But look where I am today. I can do this, and I WILL do this. Jami told me Sunday when I was frustrated in pilates to 'get out of my head'. THAT, my friend, is the key to a LOT of our problems. We have to get out of our own way! We are capable of much more than we think!
And by the way...the third set I nailed that plank. ;)
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