'You have always had the power, my dear, you have had it all along'

'You have always had the power, my dear, you have had it all along'

Thursday, October 18, 2012

I'm a Believer

Had training today and all morning I was whining about it.  I did NOT want to go.  I was tired (am tired...it's a constant state of being these days!) and sore and just not in the mood.  I worked myself up so much I was almost sick to my stomach when I went in.  It's just really hard to get back into the swing of things when you've been out of the game for so long.

Before I got pregnant I was at the gym 6 days a week.  Three days strength training, three days cardio training...it was MY place!  I knew everyone there, I was comfortable there and I loved it! Then I got pregnant and I still was able to keep up that routine for quite a while.  As the pregnancy progressed I had to limit myself and finally when Luke was born I couldn't do anything for awhile.  Now that he is 4 months old I am trying to get back into some kind of routine but with two children and little sleep I just can't get back to it like I did before.  I know I will someday, but right now I'm just trying to get through each day.  And now I have a new trainer too, who is awesome by the way, but it's just another thing to get used to. 

So all that is what's in my head when I walked in the door today.  Our first exercise he had to modify (has to do with a plank and a ball, I'll leave it at that) and I was SO pissed at myself!  Pissed that I couldn't do it, pissed that I feel like I'm starting over, pissed that I even HAVE to lose weight in the first place (like that I got to that point), pissed about everything!  But you know what?  I talked to him about it a bit and with a little pep talk from him, I started to remember everything I've done the last 2 years.  The first day with Mandy I fell over...it doesn't get worse then that!  But look where I am today.  I can do this, and I WILL do this.  Jami told me Sunday when I was frustrated in pilates to 'get out of my head'.  THAT, my friend, is the key to a LOT of our problems.  We have to get out of our own way!  We are capable of much more than we think!

And by the way...the third set I nailed that plank. ;)

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