Praying for Patience

This was a rough weekend. I don't know if it's just lack of sleep or what (I've been staying up too late watching TV!!) but my patience has been pretty much non-existent the last couple of days. I went to the mall yesterday and then again today and pretty much felt both days like punching someone in the neck. It was just a frustrating weekend...Ian got fussy always at the exact wrong time, lines were way too long (it took me 25 minutes at Sears to get someone to help me just to pick up Ian's pictures, and then 20 more minutes waiting in the line at Lane Bryant and there was only one person in front of me!- I know it seems like I'm being whiny...but YOU handle a 6 mo. old fussy baby and see how fun it is!), I feel exhausted and I just can't get energized, and overall I just feel like I didn't accomplish anything. Rarely do I drink but man, I felt like hammering down something today! And yesterday I had a fleeting thought of bumming a cigarette off some kids at the mall that were smoking outside...and I don't smoke!!! :) So yea, one of those weekends. OH! And even more fun, I bought 3 cute shirts at Lane Bryant that were just adorable but I didn't try them on because I had Ian and I was trying to rush. Normally I wear their 18/20's easily, and I can do some 14/16's, depending on the fit. So I got all 14/16's for these shirts because 1) they looked pretty big 2) I can fit that size most of the time anyway and 3) if they were a little snug I thought it would be good motivation for me to try to get into them as soon as possible. So I tried them on when I got home and they are so tight I'll be lucky to wear them in the next 3 months!! Of course the ONE time I don't try them on they are a weird material that hugs and they look like total crap on me. Tomorrow I will just view it as good motivation, but tonight please bear with me while I'm bitter. Blah.

So I am praying for patience. Mom mentioned to me on Saturday that I should be more patient when I was at near meltdown at the mall (yes, me, not Ian). And really, she's right. I have to realize that life is too complicated and too amazing and there is too much to worry about and too much to enjoy to be so impatient and stressed all the time. I don't WANT to be so high-strung, stressed out, and out of control! I want to be calm and together, I want to be optimistic and positive instead of reacting to every little 'crisis' as if it's the end of the world. I don't want to be lovingly described as 'neurotic' or 'type A' (ok, so that may never stop-you can't get everything you want;) And this goes for my weight loss journey as well...I am so impatient...if I have one good week I expect to have dropped a size or two or look dramatically different, and things just don't work that way. If I just lose a pound or two, that is fantastic and I need to appreciate that instead of berating myself for not losing more. I need to be thankful for the small victories:) The small battles win the war:)