Dopamine is a Bitch

Yesterday I got back on track hardcore. As I mentioned I had been really off course and struggling but yesterday I got my butt in gear. Food wise I have been great, making good choices and staying in control. But mentally I am going nuts! I have been thinking about food pretty much every hour all day for the last two days. It's so awful when you get off plan because it is SO difficult to get that motivation back. Your cravings come back, your body forgets how good it feels eating so healthy and not being stuffed, and all the power and control you felt making those good choices goes flying out the window. And it takes days to get that back. It's called ADDICTION.

Dopamine is a bitch. Food addiction is all about science (ok, I won't say it's all about science, because obviously we have free will and as hard as it is we CAN chose to NOT eat bad food...but science plays a big big part). Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in the brain that plays a big role in all kinds of different behaviors. In many cases it makes you feel good, gives you feelings of pleasure and satisfaction, and who wouldn't want that?? So we grow to desire those feelings more and more. And guess what folks? Food releases dopamine. This is food addiction...this is why we crave food, this is why I have thought about it all day for two days. This is why I am going NUTS! :) We eat, the food releases dopamine, it makes us feel good, so we want to eat more to keep feeling good. It's a vicious circle.

I was thinking about this the other day. My "circle" goes like this. I make a plan to start getting on track; I think "tomorrow, I'm going to start this and I am going to DO it!!". So I eat whatever I want that day, I give myself a treat the night before because "it's my last chance" before I get really serious. So that night I'm feeling awesome, I'm so pumped and motivated and I have all these grand plans of how I'm going to be perfect and lose so much weight, yada yada yada. Then the next morning I get up and I might do okay for a few hours, or even for most of the day, but my mind is always on food, it's always thinking about when the next meal is or what I could have on this 'diet'. And (obviously) more times than not, I end up blowing it and I give in and eat something I shouldn't...even binge at times. The night before is almost like a high for me...and then the next day when I'm limiting what I'm eating (translation: eating like a normal person) my body is like, whoa, where is all that awesome food you've been giving me? I am craving that pleasure, those effects of the dopamine...that satisfaction. It's an addiction, and the first day of eating healthy and normal is like being in withdrawal. It's all you think about. And all that can help is time. Eventually you adapt to the new levels, the new intake, and little by little you feel better, and what you do eat makes you feel good and you get that motivation through your healthy choices. But the first few days aren't fun. There is noone in this world that could ever convince me that people can't be an addicted to food. And I am an addict, no doubt.

Here's to kicking the habit.