My 100 Reasons

So I haven't been perfect the past week or so, at least not in the way that I was in the beginning. So I thought it was a good time to make my "100 Reasons" list...My 100 Reasons to Rediscover Myself (sounds better that 'lose weight' or 'get skinny' or any of those generic cliches;) It's good motivation for me to remember my reasons for this journey...to help me stay focused and keep me going. Each day is a new day and I may add more reasons as I go through this process, but this is a good start!

One more thing...I am being totally honest with these, so here's your warning: if it's TMI I'm sorry!!

Here we are, in no particular order....


1. To be healthy and able to care for my son
2. To be a good role model for Ian
3. To regain my health and lower my risks for cancer, heart disease, diabetes..etc. etc.
4. To never hear "Mommy, you're fat" from my son (or cuddly/mushy/etc. - let's face it, kids are honest)
5. To be able to take my wedding rings on and off without it taking conditioner and 10 minutes of pain and twisting
6. To not get winded when I go up a flight of stairs
7. To not have a double chin/s ;)
8. To get to wear all the cute clothes I have in my closet from when I was thin
9. To be able to carry Ian around all the time without my back hurting or getting out of breath
10. To be able to go on long walks without my back hurting
11. To run into people that haven't seen me for awhile and have them say "you've lost so much weight!!"
12. To not be embarrassed when I run into someone from when I was thin and they're shocked at how big I am
13. To be able to get on a plane without worrying if I will need a seat belt extender.
14. To fly on a plane and know that I'm not going to be squashed in the seat or totally piss off the person next to me by overflowing into their space
15. To be able to sit with my legs crossed and have it be comfortable
16. To not sweat so much
17. To be able to order something unhealthy in a restaurant and not worry that people are looking at me thinking "yea, of course SHE'S eating that"
18. To be able to shop somewhere other than Lane Bryant
19. To weigh less than my husband
20. To go to a tanning bed and not have white lines in places that you shouldn't (some of you know what I mean, if you don't, you're a lucky beotch ;)
21. To actually FIT in a tanning bed comfortably
22. To go to a tanning salon and not think people are watching me thinking "why does she bother?" (it's cuz even FAT is more attractive when it's tan people!! ;)
23. To be one of those healthy chicks that carry water bottles everywhere they go
24. To wear a cute belt
25. To get compliments again
26. To be able to get on a tender without it tipping totally to the side and worry you're going to overturn everyone
27. To not have to turn sideways to go through turnstiles at the zoo
28. To be able to work in the yard, plant flowers, trim bushes, etc. without getting worn out
29. To be a regular at the gym
30. To have Jeff think I'm attractive again
31. To be proud of myself
32. To have my friends and family be proud of me
33. To prove to Jeff that I CAN follow through with something
34. To not always be the one in the group eating the most food
35. To be the same size as everyone else at church group
36. To be able to tell all the assholes that have made mean comments to me to kiss my ass
37. To never have anyone ask me again 'are you pregnant?' (unless I actually AM;)
38. To not have my boss think I'm gross and show him I am successful at this
39. To be able to be an avid runner again
40. To do 5K's on a normal basis
41. To do another 1/2 and RUN the WHOLE way!
42. To maybe do a full someday???
43. To be a regular at Front Runner
44. To be able to be a success story in a WW magazine
45. To have a waist again
46. To have cute boobs again (ok, I know I have a BFing kid but I KNOW they'd look better if I was thinner!! ;) I'm not asking for perfection!! LOL)
47. To be able to wear one of those cute backless shirts
48. To go to a club and dance and not feel like a whale
49. To be HOT again!
50. To have better sex
51. To want to leave the lights on ;)
52. To be able to button my cute winter peacoat
53. To have defined muscular arms and legs
54. To wear a cute choker and have it look good and not totally stupid
55. To not feel self conscious at family dinners when someone asks if I want dessert
56. To inspire others with my new self:)
57. To dedicate my life to being healthy
58. To be obsessed with veggies instead of bread and potatoes!
59. To take a yoga class and be able to do it
60. To be able to go shopping for a gown for our vacation cruise and not be depressed and totally frustrated
61. To not feel like the most gigantic person on the cruise (for the 3rd time)
62. To actually have someone check me out for once (in a good way)
63. To not be jealous of skinny chicks
64. To be able to keep up with Ian when he starts running around
65. To want to get my picture taken again and be happy with the results
66. To go to Crew games/OSU games/ BJ games and be comfortable and not take up two seats
67. To be able to buy a swimsuit off the rack
68. To want to actually wear a swimsuit
69. To have the towels at the gym actually COVER me without having to use two together
70. To show my trainer and nutritionist at Lifetime that I succeeded at this
71. To be able to have Jeff and/or Scott pick me up like they used to
72. To have lots more energy
73. To not have to take synthroid or lexapro anymore
74. To be able to say I got my health back the right way and not through starving myself or drinking shakes or whatever
75. To feel good and proud and be able to hold my head high when I'm walking around in public and not feel frumpy or gross
76. To make recipes and cook yummy healthy dinners for Jeff instead of sticking chicken nuggets and baked french fries in the oven
77. To feel sexy again
78. To get my belly-button pierced!
79. To be able to wear cute, sexy hip clothes and not look so boring and school-marmish;)
80. To be able to breathe when I bend over to tie my shoes
81. To actually weigh what my drivers license says I weigh
82. To have Jeff put his arms around my waist and me actually enjoy it instead of pushing his hands away
83. To have my thighs not rub together
84. To wear tank tops and not be horribly embarrassed by my arms
85. To have a collarbone again (and cheekbones, and shoulder blades, etc.)
86. To rollerblade again and not feel like I'm going to die
87. To feel like I'm an equal match for Jeff again
88. To not ever have to hear anything again from my grandma about my weight other than to say how great I look:)
89. To be able to say I want to open a bakery without feeling cliche about it, like the big girl opening the bakery... (believe me people, I know most of this stuff is just in my head, I'm just being honest here)
90. To have much more endurance
91. To not think about food every hour of the day
92. To not be embarrassed or self-conscious about the way I look, the way I eat, the habits I have, the choices I make...
93. To never binge again
94. To end this chapter of my life and start a new one and never have to look back
95. To have bras fit comfortably and have the straps not fall down all the time
96. To be EXCITED to post pics of myself on the web instead of dreading it;)
97. To feel strong and powerful again
98. To live a long healthy life
99. To return to the person I was meant to be...to get back on the path that I started on...
100. To be happy with who I am


And there you have it. 100 reminders for myself of why I have began this process and why I'm not looking back.