I Promise...

A little over two weeks have passed since I really started trying to focus a LOT more on this journey.  Since Christmas my eating habits have taken a 180 and I am pretty proud of myself!  Since Luke was born I've been working so hard on trying to fit in exercise and keep my PT appointments, etc. but I have been so loose in my eating habits until now.  I am so proud of the 30-some pounds I have lost over the past two years, but I really want to step up my progress.  At this time next year I will be a different person...I am promising myself that.  And to anyone reading...this will not be just a resolution that a month from now I will have forgotten.  It will be one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I will do it.  I know there will be struggles and bumps in the road...over the past two weeks I have already had challenges and hard days where all I want to do is stuff my face...but I didn't fall off track.  I have allowed myself treats (currently I use my weigh-in day as a day to have a little more leniency...I'll have dessert and a meal that I wouldn't normally have.  But I don't go crazy!) and I have had things that I like...I haven't felt deprived.  When I feel like I am getting into an 'all or nothing' mindset I remind myself that if I can't do this forever, it's not going to work.  I want to change my lifestyle for good and I want to raise my kids to be healthy and happy.  I want to be a healthy and strong mother and wife for my family...and hell, myself!  I am worth this hard work and this effort.

It is an everyday, almost every minute, conscientious decision to make choices that better this journey.  I follow numerous pages on facebook that revolve around fitness, health and weight loss, and that is really helpful to keep my motivation up and keep me going.  Writing in this blog helps keep me going...sharing my progress, successes and struggles with friends, on facebook, this all helps keep me going.  I will spend every single day for a long time into the future concentrating on this journey.  But it will be worth it.  I was reading a story about someone who had completely changed their life and lost a significant amount of weight.  They had a picture of themselves at New Years the year before, and then one next to it of themselves the next year, and it looked like a new person.  That will be me, I promise you.  I can't wait to see MY picture.