A New Day

So I'm feeling a bit better today. The last day or so have been nice, I've gotten to spend some time with Ian, time with my mom, and some with Jeff too. I've gotten a chance to talk with a couple good friends (I am so thankful for my awesome friends) and I've spent a lot of time thinking and praying. I read a friend's blog that really spoke to me (check out http://stepintofold.blogspot.com - so awesome). I also was able to sit down with Jeff and we had a little heart to heart...I shared a lot of the things that I've been feeling lately and I feel really positive about all of this.

I was telling a friend today that I would like to be able to write "there's no where to go from here but up!". But then I think, yes there is. You can wallow around at the bottom for a long time before you figure out where to go or what to do. I think someone can hit rock bottom and just be stagnant...just lie there and wonder what the hell happened and how they got there. The question for myself is how long am I going to lie here? How long am I going to hate myself and pity my life and what I've made (or haven't made) of it? It's MY choice to either rise up and climb out or to remain in this place. This dark, accusatory, shitty place, this place that is sucking the life out of me. And today I feel like I might be moving towards taking the first step up.