Birthday cake is from the devil...

So I really could have screwed up this week but I managed to keep it together. And there were some major obstacles that really made it challenging! Tuesday was a little get-together with some friends at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants, Wednesday was my mom's birthday and Thursday was another birthday celebration. Then this morning Jeff (my husband) took off for Washington DC for a month so we went out to dinner yesterday to spend some time together before he left. BUT....drum roll.....I managed to still stay under my points for the week! And man, I could have thrown it away. Don't get me wrong, I didn't make the healthiest of choices, but at least calorie/point wise I did fine. Tomorrow is scale day so we'll see how it goes. I'm headed to Detroit next weekend and Karen (my HUGE support in all of this) has challenged me to have lost 10 pounds by the time I visit. So hopefully I'll see some major results tomorrow!

I'm trying to look at this whole experience like rehab. I watch reality shows like it's my job (I can't help it, I am totally addicted...I know, it's sad) and when I watch the ones like Celebrity Rehab or Intervention or anything along those lines, I connect in a way to those addictions. Food is 100% my addiction. The only difference between me and the people that are on heroin, alcohol, etc. is that I HAVE to have food to live. And that is the shitty part...if I could just cut out food all the way, I think it would be easier. I actually did Optifast (it's a liquid only diet) for a few months and lost a lot of weight and it wasn't that bad...UNTIL I tasted food again and then it was all over. So I'm trying to think of this all like rehab. I HAVE to have control and I CAN'T let myself gorge on crap like I used to, it's just not a question. And it has to be on the forefront of my mind at all times. As much as that sucks that's how it has to be. You don't make a 180 in your life and not focus on it at all times if you want it to be successful.

Ok..as promised, my 'epiphany' story of the day. I was a waitress for about 7 years at Bob Evans. I loved it and had a lot of awesome regular customers, and some not so awesome. One particular older lady would come in every Saturday and sit at the counter where a friend of mine would wait on her. This woman was alright I suppose, not overly friendly, but ok. One morning she came in and I was typing an order in on the nearby computer when I heard her mention my name to her server...I couldn't exactly understand what she asked so when my friend came over I asked her what the woman had said. She looked a bit embarrassed and then told me that she wanted to know if I was pregnant. I knew I had gained some weight, but I certainly didn't realize I looked pregnant! If that wasn't bad enough, a few weeks later I went to the fair and ran into an old line cook that I had worked with at the restaurant. HE asked me if I was pregnant!! WTF?? I said, "Nope, just fat!!" I swear, someone could look like they have a freakin basketball shoved up their shirt and I will NOT ask if they are pregnant...it is the WORST feeling! UGH!