You only have to be accountable to yourself...

Happy Valentine's Day!  Well, belated Valentine's Day I guess.  We didn't do anything special since we went out for a nice dinner last weekend, but Jeff did bring me home roses...and a cadbury egg.  Ugh!!! They are my favorite and a huge weakness for me.  (I know, you either love them or hate them...most people I know think they are the grossest thing ever).  I had him put it away until the weekend and I'm going to have it as my treat after weigh in:)  I'm not being as loose as normal on my weigh-in day but I am going to let myself have that!  To top it off, Ian had his preschool Valentine's party today and brought home a TON of yummy treats!  I couldn't believe all the things in his cute little Valentine's box.  I had sent along with his Valentines a little heart shaped egg with candies in it for all his classmates, but most parents did little goody bags with all kinds of candies and treats, and the teacher made adorable heart shaped iced cookies for the kids to take home.  So cute!  And so tempting!  So far so good but man, that candy is calling my name!  But I know this is just the beginning because Easter is around the corner so I've got to stay strong! LOL:)

So I'm almost a week into my challenge and feeling really good.  I have done really well with my food choices and my exercise has been AWESOME.  First time in a long time I've had a hardcore workout 6 days in a row and it felt really great.  I definitely have felt it physically, I've been really tired and sore, but it's wonderful to be back in somewhat of a routine again.  I got on the scale a couple times and it hadn't really budged from Monday but we'll see how the weigh-in goes this weekend.  I think I am getting some kind of cold or bug so that may be part of it, who knows.  Hopefully I'll see some kind of loss this weekend!

My one mistake of the week was to get on the gym's website and look at the leaderboard.  I initially thought there were 35 people total (men and women) signed up, but evidently there were a lot of last minute registrations.  There are 50 women in the challenge.  Fifty!!  When I saw that, to be honest, the first thing I thought was screw this, I'm going to go eat a pizza.  It just seems so unattainable to win when you are up against so many people.  It just got in my head I guess.  So the next day at my session with Aaron I told him about it.  He gave me a pep talk and reminded me that I don't have to (and shouldn't) think about or worry about any of those people....I only have to be accountable to myself.  I don't have to answer to any of them, and I don't need to worry about any of their progress on this journey.  I only have to worry about myself.  And ultimately, while I really really want to win for SO many reasons, the important thing is the change that I am making in myself.  THAT will be the real reward.

And we're off!!

Day 3 and I am sore as hell.  I know the challenge started so we are stepping it up a bit but wow.  Had pilates after my weigh in Sunday morning and was already feeling it in my arms and abs by that night.  Then yesterday Jami and I decided to do cardio outside since it was somewhat bearable (although the wind was insane!) and ended up walking a very hilly 6.6 miles.  Ugh!  Felt awesome but man am I beat!  This morning was training with Aaron, and then I did a couple miles on the treadmill (just an easy walk).  Training today was great!  We are doing PT now 2x a week, then pilates on the weekend, which was my old schedule with Mandy (when I won the 90 day before heehee:)  so it feels SO awesome to be back in that routine.  It was definitely an overcoming fears kind of day.  First time doing box jumps (and by 'box' at this point I mean the step platform with no raisers...not even a box yet LOL but I'll get there!), and then some new core stuff with the ball and those little platforms on wheels.  Not easy.  But it feels good to be challenging myself and taking it up a notch. 

Weigh-in was great.  I had to try to not let the weight on that scale freak me out because it was a lot higher than I thought it would be.  It's obviously a different scale that I haven't weighed on before so I know it could already be off from what I have at home.  I did have breakfast and some water before I went in (it's the initial kick-off weigh-in, why not right?) and while I normally weigh in at home with nothing on, obviously I was dressed at the gym (now THAT would be weird! haha) so I know that all makes a difference too.  And....like I said, I wasn't too strict on my diet last week.  So at the gym I weighed in at 226.6.  I weighed several times before I left the house, with and without clothes/water and got variations between 218 and 221.  I wanted to have a measure at home so I could see where I was to start... SOOO that's where I am for the beginning of the contest!  This morning I was at 215.8.  The last couple of days I've been crazy strict with my food and drank lots and lots of water so I'm not surprised to be shedding some water weight.  I will probably weigh myself a little more often during these 90 days just to try to keep focused and stay on track.  I'm so excited for this competition.  I had Jami take new pics of me so I could see my exact starting point...I know my pics in 3 months from now will look so different!  Very excited to push myself.  Feels good to finally be in control of something! 

Less Quit, More Fit

So this is it folks!  Tomorrow starts my 90 day challenge.  So excited!  I meet Jami at the gym at 7:30 to weigh in and off we go!  I am so ready for this.  My pastor recently did a series of teachings on Nehemiah...long story short, he was an ordinary man who became the cupbearer (high ranking officer) to the Persian King.  He was also a man of God and was worried about the fate of Jerusalem.  Nehemiah ended up leaving his safe and secure position in Persia to go motivate and help his people rebuild the wall around Jerusalem that had been destroyed.  The first thing Nehemiah did was pray to God, and the next thing he did was trust...then he took action.  And that wall was rebuilt in 52 days.  4.5 miles long, 26 feet high built by nothing but their own two hands.  Less than 2 months!  With God all things are possible...Nehemiah knew that, and so do I!  In 52 days that wall was rebuilt.  I can't WAIT to see what change and rebuilding can happen in me in 90! 

Hardcore!!!

Two pounds down last week!  So pumped.  Currently at 216.4....only 16.5 pounds to hit my Chicago goal, and that is not until June 27th!  I definitely think I'll be able to knock that one out pretty good. 

Pretty excited this week...my 90 day challenge starts on Sunday!!!  I weigh in Sunday morning and weigh out on May 11th.  I'm anxious but SOOOO pumped up...I really want to kick this competition's ass!  I'm going to be honest...I am definitely NOT being very strict on my eating this week (it hasn't been pretty) but only because I am buckling down like crazy after this challenge starts and after Sunday I'll be super strict for quite awhile.  I'm not going crazy this week or anything, but I'm definitely not eating 'clean' like I have been and I've snacked a little more than I would normally.  I'm not going to weigh in this week...I will weigh at the gym for the 90 days but as for my own tracking I will just skip this week.  I'll be back to official weigh in's next weekend, I promise!  I just wanted to give myself a little boost for the initial weigh in.  Probably doesn't make sense to most but it makes sense in my head LOL:)

I met with Jami and Aaron last weekend to get a game plan for the competition.  I have a detailed schedule of workouts that I will follow for the next three months starting Sunday....

Sunday: pilates with Jami, light cardio
Monday: cardio with Jami
Tuesday: PT with Aaron
Wednesday: cardio, foam roll
Thursday: PT with Aaron
Friday: cardio, foam roll
Saturday: REST, foam roll

A couple days after PT I will do some light cardio too just as a bonus but that is the basic plan.  Eating wise I am going to keep doing what I'm doing but tighten up on Saturdays which I have been using as a looser eating day.  Also, I'm going to TRY to skip the dessert at my in-laws on Sundays.  At least the majority of the time;)  And the pop.  Ohhhh my diet coke.  Here's an idea I had...I am thinking of totally giving up pop for the challenge.  Every cell in my being begs against that decision but I am feeling led to give it up.  I'm going to try to approach it like a spiritual fast...I will need strength from God for this challenge...to stick with it and to stay focused, and I feel like completely giving up my pop will help me to lean on Him in prayer during those challenging times.  I haven't decided 100% but I am going to pray about it and decide by Sunday.  I know it's not healthy for me to drink so much of it, and water is always SOOO much better, so I know it's a good decision all the way around, it's just really hard!!  So we'll see!

I want to say that I am NOT fooling myself into thinking I will do perfectly on this, I will not do everything right and I am sure I will have things that I probably shouldn't.  There will be days I won't get my cardio in, and days that I won't have as much water as I should.  I am also not saying that this plan is something I will do until I lose all my weight...I know it is a little overly strict and challenging...I am just trying to stick to this for the competition.  I am trying to approach this challenge hardcore....I am in it to win it!!!  90 days to a healthier me! :)

Gotta start somewhere!!

Had a great workout day.  Met with my trainer this morning and had a good hour of strength training.  It's been a weird warm couple of days here in Ohio and that for some reason makes the gym HOT.  I was already starting to sweat before I even got off the treadmill from warming up.  By the end of the hour I was a gross mess!  But it felt awesome.  It's sometimes still hard for me to not get bothered that I can't do more...I feel like I shouldn't get out of breath so easily or have to rest so much.  I hate when Aaron says 'just catch your breath for a second, it's ok'.  But then I try to remember where I was when I started and how I could never have done any of the things I am doing now back then.  I always feel like I should apologize if I have to rest, or if I have a hard time with something...I try not to but I just don't want him to think that I'm weak or something.  He has another client and whenever she says something negative he makes her do burpees.  He reminds me of that sometimes and asks if I want to do burpees...that usually shuts me right up. ;)

After training today I decided to kill another hour or so on the treadmill while Luke was still at the gym's childcare center.  It was awesome!  Felt so good.  I haven't tried to run a whole lot since my hip had been hurting but it's been feeling a lot better so the other day I decided just to give it a shot.  Jami and I had walked for about 5 or so miles so when we were done I decided to just try it for a quarter mile.  The hip has been feeling so much better, and I really have no explanation as to why.  I tried a different pair of shoes for a couple of weeks and that seemed to help, but I was getting blisters so horribly that I went back to my old ones.  So I tried that quarter mile and it went awesome!  Look, I know that's basically nothing, but with how bad my hip had been aching it was a lot, and the C25K I was doing only had me at 1 min at a time.  I was proud of myself!  So today, I decided it was half mile time.  I walked a mile and a half and then turned it up and just told myself to get to 2 miles.  And I did!  I actually probably could have gone a little longer...and that is AFTER an hour of training!  I am really feeling excited about my progress.  I can't wait to hop on the treadmill and see how far I can go when I'm not already worn out.  And guess what......no hip pain!  I can't believe it feels so much better.  I guess all I had to do was make an appointment with the doctor haha:)  If this keeps up I'm just going to cancel it.  Yay!

So excited for the future!  I love this feeling of strength:)  I can do this!!

Success!

This week has felt like the longest week ever!  Last weekend I was so sick with an awful stomach virus, and now this weekend Jeff has a bug.  On top of that Luke and I both are sick (maybe a sinus infection for me) and it is freezing cold outside.  I can't wait for Spring!!

Lots of successes to share today!  My weight this morning was 218.4!  I am SO excited!  That is down 1.8 from last week and 42.6 total.  This number for me is awesome for a number of reasons:

* I made my Valentines Day goal!  And 2+ weeks early!  I wanted to be under 220 by Valentines Day and here we are!  I'd love to get under 215 by then since I have a couple weeks but we'll see how it goes.  I did super great this week and lost 1.8 so I think it's finally slowing down/evening out.  Which is fine! 1-2 pounds a week is perfect.

* I'm out of the 220's!  I can't even remember the last time that happened.  It is SO nice to see the teens on the scale.  And even closer to a 211 which will be 50 pounds which will feel amazing:)

* My BMI is finally under 40!!!  So exciting!  Still ridiculous and I have a long way to go but I was really looking forward to finally being out of the 40's so that is awesome.

A couple of other NSV's (non-scale victories:) this week too! 

* I realized that I can button my winter coat all the way down instead of just the top two buttons.  It is a Liz Claiborne size 16, which I totally don't understand because I'm not even close to wearing size 16 jeans yet but I'll take it!

* I was able to put on and button my TIGHT jeans with no problem!  I bought them after Luke was born thinking they would fit in a week or two and I have never been able to wear them.  They are super low rise and I haven't even been able to button them.  On a whim I tried them on yesterday morning and lo and behold!  I still want to wait a couple more weeks to wear them out because I still have a heck of a muffin top but I'm on my way! :)

* I am wearing my old gym shirts again!  I bought them when I was at my lowest weight with Mandy and stopped when I got pregnant.  I haven't been able to wear them since, they were just too tight and uncomfortable after Luke was born.  I put one on the other day just to give it a shot and they fit better then ever!

* Lastly, I was going through my closet trying to find something to wear and decided to put on a 14/16 shirt that I haven't worn in forever.  I tried it a few months ago and it was so tight it was ridiculous.  It's been hiding in my closet ever since (where it's been for a couple years).  I tried it on and here it is.....

Wooo Hoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pumped!

This week has been pretty good so far...other than being ridiculously sick all day Sunday (my son's 24 hr bug got me good!) I've got a couple pretty good workouts in and my eating has been perfect. Definitely craving some chips and/or chocolate tonight but I made myself walk away from the cabinets. I decided I'd treat myself and have my yogurt with some 'lite' cool whip tonight...unfortunately when I got it out I realized I bought it at Christmas (don't judge me!) so I had to throw it out. So I froze the yogurt instead and am having 'ice cream'. Luckily the cravings have passed.

I'm feeling really good about this process. Usually when I have tried to focus more on my eating and cut out a lot of the foods I know are hindering me I get really frustrated and I can never seem to make it more than a week or two. It has been almost a month and I really feel like this is my life...not a diet, not a temporary thing, not something I'm doing until I hit a certain weight. I definitely think that starting to eat meat again has helped me immensely...I get so excited to have a salad with chicken it's almost funny. It doesn't seem like a diet. Which I guess is the goal!

One thing that helps me so much is to read other people's success stories and see their pictures. There is an abundance of pages on facebook and blogs out there with the stories of people who have lost tons of weight along with the pictures to prove it. I eat that stuff up. Especially when it is someone with a similar story or who started at the same weight I did. I saw a picture earlier this month...it was a side by side of a girl at last New Years and this New Years. She was a totally different person! THAT is going to be me. I picture myself in my own side by side picture...thinner, stronger, healthier...changed. THAT is what I think about when I want to raid the fridge, when I want to cancel on my trainer, or drive through McDonald's. I have made the decision that this year is the year I put an end to the struggle. This is my year and I will not look back.

Change your mind...

Things are going well! After my self-inflicted scale frustration earlier this week I thought maybe I'd focus the rest of the week on my water intake...that is something that I have not been doing well with until now. I love my diet soda!! But I know it's not good for me. So since I've gotten pretty good with eating healthy lately I thought I would try to up the water intake too.

It must have really helped me out because this morning I weighed in at 220.2!! That is 3.2 pounds down this week. I am so excited and proud of myself. I've decided on Saturday (officially, I swear!) as my weigh-in day and I will NOT weigh through the week. I have to have faith in myself that as long as I am on track and doing what I know will get me healthy the results will show one way or another. I am down 11.8 pounds since the first of the year and 40.8 pounds total from my heaviest weight. And even more exciting is that my first goal was to be under 220 by Valentines Day...only .3 pounds to hit that goal and I still have 3 1/2 weeks to go. Yay! This really gives me faith that my goals are attainable.

Jeff was joking with me that I better slow down or I'm not going to rock the 90-day challenge the way I want to. And I have to admit, it does make me wish the challenge had started a couple of weeks ago! When the day comes (the kick-off is the weekend of February 9th) I plan to keep up what I'm doing but really hone in on the exercise. I am still only working out steadily 3x a week, along with a mini-weight lift session at home here and there. I have BIG goals for this challenge, and I want to do everything I can to win it. So I am going to keep up the focus on the clean eating (including tightening up on my 'loose' day) and add in lots more exercise and of course the dreaded water:) Participating in this challenge is just extra motivation...it ends in May and my Chicago goal is in June so it's perfect timing.

I've heard this before but I saw it again on FB the other day...it's so true that if you change your mind, you change your body. My mind is changed and my body is on it's way;)