When are you ever going to be successful at something?
You should have learned a healthier way to eat a long time ago, it's too late now.
You might as well eat whatever you want today, you're not getting anywhere anyway.
You fail at most things, why would this be any different?
Why is everything always so hard?
Yep, these are all thoughts that come to me as I stand looking at a scale that won't go down. I've been working really hard but things numbers-wise aren't cooperating and that has had my motivation waning the last day or two. I talked with my trainer/friend this morning and I feel a lot better (I also promised to avoid the scale for a bit), but I've spent a lot of time today reflecting on why I put so much importance on the number on the scale. I can tell I am building muscle, especially in my arms and legs, and I wore a shirt a few days ago that used to be way too small, so I know I am making progress. You can't exercise and eat the way I am without becoming more fit. It's just fact. I don't why the numbers won't show it, but I have to trust the process and trust that my body will show the results even if the scale won't.
Earlier today I watched the latest episode of Extreme Makeover. I have mixed feelings about shows like that, but just seeing such a huge change in people is really motivating to me, so I watch. The woman on this episode had her breakthrough when she stopped viewing herself as a victim. It resonated with me, because I realized that that is my problem too. All those thoughts that run through my head when I'm disappointed by the scale (or a friend, or my kids, or anything!) are just pathetic! Everyone goes through things in their lives that aren't easy. Everybody has rough patches but the fact of the matter is, life goes on! You can't change the past but I'll tell you one thing you have control over and that is your future! I have to put my confidence in MYSELF and not in a stupid piece of plastic and metal. I CAN (and will) succeed on this journey, and I refuse to let that little victim voice in my head tell me that I can't. I am not who I used to be, and I like this girl a lot more than the old one. ;)
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